Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Counting My Blessings

After experiencing a day of anger last week, 
I thought it was time to just take some time 
and count my blessings. 

I'm generally a very positive person. 
However, there are just some things 
that you bury deep inside 
that finally catch up with you. 

So the FIRST thing I'm grateful for 
is the ability to let loose and shout my shit
 to the world!  


It felt good to unburden myself! 
Thanks for listening 
and thank you for all the positive feedback 
and support I got from that post.

Today, as I watch the sun 
come up over the mountains, 
these are the things I'm thinking about:

I am so grateful ...

I woke up ALIVE! 
I'm so grateful for another day of life 
on this incredible planet!  


I'm grateful for my good health.

I'm grateful for my sweet, cozy little van, 
my little girl-cave, 
so warm and safe and dependable.

I am grateful I have eyes to see 
the beauty of the sunrise. 
Nothing amazes me more 
or starts my day out better 
than a hot cup of coffee in my hands 
while I watch the sun breaking the horizon. 
The clouds are fluffy, grey, white, blue, pink, 
and are moving swiftly to the north, 
and the skies are clear. 
It's going to be a sunny day 
and I'm so grateful for THAT 
after all the wind and rain.

I am grateful I have ears to hear 
the buzz of the hummingbird 
and the song of the coyote family 
singing in the distance. 


I am grateful I have a nose 
that can smell the sweetness of the desert 
after a rain. 
The creosote bushes are blooming, 
as is the entire desert, 
and the fragrance is hypnotizing. 

I am grateful for the sense of touch - 
that I can feel the warmth 
of my snuggly down comforter. 
It brings back memories 
of waking up in my grandparents' cold farmhouse, and not caring 
because I was engulfed in a foot 
of Ma's down featherbed. 


I miss that featherbed and that farm house 
and I sure miss my Ma and Pa. 
What a blessing it was to have had them in my life, along with all of my other grandparents.  

As I turn on my little Jet-boil 
to make my morning coffee, I'm grateful for it. 
This tiny contraption that sets up so easily 
and boils water in 30 seconds. 
It's so nice not to have to go out 
into the cold morning to heat water.  
The coffee smells so good and tastes even better. 
My mouth is watering 
as I think about cooking up linquica for breakfast, 
and I'm grateful for my sense of taste.


I'm so grateful for a loving family. 
My three wonderful sons!  
Even though we have our differences, 
we are a very close family, 
and I love that! 


We still get together for holidays,
and enjoy each others' company.
I know we will always be there for each other, 
to help each other get through life's trials, 
to love each other. 
They are all three good strong men, 
good providers, and good fathers, 
and I'm so very proud of them! 


I'm grateful for my daughter in laws 
and my son in law. 
All three love my sons deeply 
and they couldn't have chosen more loving, 
loyal partners to share their lives. 
I smile as I think about my grandchildren
 and how well they're coming up. 
Beautiful, bright, talented stars
who care about others, 
who are responsible and fun to be around. 
They make me so proud!

I'm grateful for my friends, 
especially the ones who continue 
to stick with me through the bumpy days 
of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. 
It would take too long to list all of their names,
 but they know who they are. 
It can't be easy for them, I know, 
when I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde 
or act like I'm the Three Faces of Eve
during a chemical reaction. 

You must be of a certain age to understand this reference.
They just buckle up,
put on their armor 
and stand by and are there when I need them. 
I love them for that.  

I'm especially grateful for Joe #2. 
He is my ex-partner, 
but remains my closest and best friend. 
He's the one person in my life 
who understands this MCS condition 
more than any. 
He's lived through the fires of hell of it with me, 
and continues to stand by me. 
Even though we have our differences, 
and some days feel like oil and water,
except for my Pa,
he is the one man 
who has been the most constant in my life. 

Oh, he'll argue with me!  
We'll have angry words!  
But when the dust settles, he's still there.  
His friendship has been gold 
in a world of rust
and I treasure our friendship.

I'm grateful for my talents, 
some of which I didn't discover 
until I was in my 60's.  
I love drawing and painting. 
I love sewing and crocheting. 
I love taking old ugly dolls 
and turning them back into little girls. 
I love sculpting wool and clay. 
All of these crafts give me great pleasure. 
I'm grateful to Ma, my grandmother, 
for teaching me to sew and crochet 
and knit and quilt - she also loved crafting. 


 I am grateful for my fearless sense of adventure.  
I love traveling and exploring
 and I'm not afraid to go it alone. 
I ran away to Puerto Rico when I was 17.
I lived in the Caribbean for over 6 years.
I've seen much of Western Europe, 
often traveling or walking alone.
 I used to dream and sing of Faraway Places, 
and I've been blessed 
to have been able to see those places. 

I'm grateful for the sun that is FINALLY shining 
and warming my van after a long, cold, wet week. 
It feels so good!


I'm grateful for my friends 
in this van-dwelling community; 
for Nelda, and Jerry, and Vern, 
and Gary and Ishe, and Suanne, 
and Merle and Pickle, and Sassy, 
and Sally, and Lois, and Karylee  -- 
and all the others who give me 
support and suggestions when I ask - 
and who make me grin at their various adventures. 

I'm grateful for this blog, 
where I can document and share my adventures, 
my worries, my anger, my joy 
and for the people who follow. 

I'm grateful for my cold pillow, kitty fur, Data the Dog's soft ears, flannel pajamas, soft leather, my chenille houserobe, my feet in warm dirt or cool grass, a nice hot bath, my grandchild's soft skin, the heat of a nice sauna, a relaxing massage, the flowers on a Portland Spring day, cactus blooms, the smell of cows and of newly mown hay, my memories, all those grandparents, my cousins, genealogy, 
and my love of writing.



I'm grateful for myself!  
There are some good things about me!
I know who I am!
I am a treasured daughter of God!
I have a nice smile!  
I don't hold on to grudges; 
I forgive and forget. 
I help people whenever I can. 
I have a good sense of humor. 
I am honest in my dealings with others. 
I am very brave. 
I am loyal. 
I share what I have with others. 
I do my best to be a positive person.

And above all, 
I LOVE. 

I love deeply and strongly 
and if I love you, you feel it.

This has been a great exercise for me.

My Ma used to sing a song,
"Count your blessings, name them one by one!"

You should try it.
It feels GREAT!

Life is good, don't you think?

Happy Trails,
Annie






4 comments:

  1. Love this. So important to shout shit! To be grateful. Love your writing ��

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  2. Love this! And Joe #2 did seem pretty special when I knew him. You are the best, Annie ��

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  3. So beautifully written Annie! We used to sing that song too! I haven’t thought of it in years. I think I learned it in Sunday School! Thank you for the reminder to count our blessings. ��

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