I’m Done

No more Camino trips. 

Im pretty sure this one broke me for good  

I need to take care of my mother’s estate, heal from cancer and a double mastectomy, make peace with my mother’s passing, go home and clean out her things, then treat myself kindly for a while. 

In retrospect, I probably should have canceled the trip. But we had canceled the year before due to Covid and I just didn’t want to disappoint people. 

What I learned, too late, was that I was exhausted from the illness, the surgery, the big move, the caretaking, my mother and my strained relationship, and her death. I was and am also overwhelmed with the job ahead of settling her accounts and cleaning out the house.

I certainly am in no shape to take care of other people, and though I tried my best  to make it clear that this was not that type of trip, I ended up with a few out of the group that needed more attention than I was able to give  

I have nothing left to give anyone but myself if I’m to survive… and I refuse to be a victim  

My grandpa used to say, “If you’re standing at the edge of the well, hanging on to a rope and the fella at the other end isn’t helping himself, there comes a point where you either get pulled in with him, or you let go of the rope and save yourself!”

I’m letting go of the rope because I choose to save myself!

The Camino will be there when and if I decide to return  

Love,

Annie