Loving My Life

This morning I'm boondocking in my van on a small plateau, overlooking a sandy wash.  Beyond that is the beautiful desert, green and blooming from the rains. 

Here and there, a lone saguaro breaks the horizon. 

Beyond that is a line of red, rocky hills. 

The only noises are the slight breeze, 

the occasional braying of a lonesome wild donkey, 

a yipping family of coyotes, 

and the cries of the waterfowl at the National Park pond a half-mile away.

After a while, the sky, beautifully bright blue at dawn, 

is turning a sick milky white from chemical trails sprayed by bioengineers, 

supposedly trying to block the sun's rays and solve global warming. 

I believe there's probably a more insid

ious reason for their spraying, 

and it probably has to do with chemical warfare 

and controlling the weather and the food supply. 

Control the food, control the people. 

It also has been used (they admit) and could be used in the future, 

for population control.  

Spray a community with a bacteria or virus 

and watch the old and infirm get sick and die. 

Scary stuff, but unfortunately, true.

It's not difficult to see the chemical spray disbursing

Despite the milky skies, I love this place, Cibola, and I love being alone in my van. 

Some days I wonder if I'm just a hermit at heart. 

I've always enjoyed being alone, 

and though I love my friends and family, 

I also find strength and solace in empty places. 

As a child, I'd get my chores done early on Saturday morning, 

then while the other children were watching cartoons, 

I'd run away to the middle of the orange grove 

where all I could hear was the buzzing of the bees. 

I might climb the hills over our town 

and look down at the ant-like people and cars running to and fro, 

or hike into the middle of a corn field and lie on my back,

listening for the rumble of the farm machines.  

I might swim to an island mid-river 

where I could lay in the sand with my feet in the cold water, 

listening to the birds and bullfrogs,

and except for them, 

just to be alone. 

Being close to nature heals me. 

I'd rather watch a sunrise than any Oscar-awarded movie. 

I'd rather listen to the braying of the wild burros or the calls of the coyote family, 

than listen to gossip, 

or to empty and boring conversations 

about whatever is popular in today's broken American culture. 

As much as I loved walking the Camino Santiago,

 it's become too busy for me. 

Too many people with bad manners. 

Too much trash.  

Too much rushing.

Too much partying and rudeness.

Now, my van is my escape, 

though I fear what will happen when the movie, "Nomadland," comes out. 

It could be the end of van life as we know it, 

just as the movie, "The Way," was the end of the Camino Santiago in so many ways. Ironically, I was an extra in both movies. 

I have to ask myself what that says about me?

For now, for today, for this week and this month, and this year, I'll savor this van life.  

The quiet gives me time to think, to reflect on my life. 

The beauty here in nature fills my soul.

Living in nature brings back memories of my grandmother, Ma, who reared me. 

Pa and Ma had a motorhome and spent the winters in the desert. 

They'd spend summers in Sequoia National park. 

She loved that life!  She also loved God's Earth!  

We were kindred spirits, Ma and I. 

She and I would lie on our backs in the grass and watch the passing clouds. 

Summers, we would hike to Sunset Rock each evening, 

sit in silence, and watch the sun sink below the horizon, 

exclaiming at the spectacular colors!  

Sunset Rock. Photo by Matthew Howarth

Ma . . . I miss her so much. 

I feel her with me when I'm alone in the desert. 

She's watching those sunrises with me, 

counting my blessings with me, 

reminding me to stay positive, 

and to give thanks for each and every day I wake up alive.

I realize some of you are following my blog because of the Camino. 

I will keep those posts on here. 

You'll just need to scroll down to posts before 2019.  

For a while, I thought I'd keep TWO blogs, 

one for the Camino and one for my Van Adventures, 

but it's just become too much to do.  

Instead, I'm going to bring the posts about my van over to this page, 

probably later this week.

I will continue to post about my simple life, 

and maybe if the crowds on the Camino thin out, I'll return. 

But for now, I plan on exploring the United States. 

Last winter I explored Arizona.  

This year, I will explore New Mexico.

I hope you'll follow along

as I live my simple life.

Love,

Annie